Earl

by Adam Magnusson
25 March 2005

We have an owl in the house.

Not a real one, mind you, but a fake plastic owl. I think it is a ‘piggy bank’ of some sort. I’m not really clear on the ins and outs of the owl. He even has a name. Earl. I think that I gave him that moniker when we (the roomies and I) acquired Earl. I think that it is best if I don’t tell you how we came about Earl. We didn’t, I will say, beat up a little girl for Earl. Besides, if you saw me and my motley crew of housemates you would get the joke, because I am pretty sure that a five year old could take us all in a fight. We are bookish folks, not fighters.

Recently, Earl has become a joke in the house. Earl has been writing notes to roomies and then standing watch outside a bedroom door all night. The notes that Earl leaves are rather odd as well. The couple in the house, Fly Guy* and Siren*, (don’t ask) will get messages from Earl about loving them so much that he wants to “pay they billz”.

Equally ridiculous in the fact that Earl will quote random things. Star Warz Gangsta Rap (There is somethin’ that I must reveal then- I’m yo father, I’m yo father) and other such nonsense. Earl will then stand patiently with note afoot until he has another note to pass to another housemate.

So far I am immune to the wisecracking of Earl, but I have a feeling that my day is coming soon. I can’t wait to see what nuttiness Earl brings to my door one of these mornings.

Maybe I’ll let a rat loose in the house so Earl will hunt instead of mock, but then again, do plastic owls named Earl hunt or need food? It could be an experiment.

I don’t know why I just told you all about Earl. Maybe one morning soon I will have to snap of photo of Earl in the act and post it so you all can see it for yourselves.

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Other than that, I have been undergoing some of the most torturous treatment known to humankind. Due to some health issues, I have had to totally cut the C8H10N4O2 (caffeine) out of my life.

Has anyone ever had to do this before?

If you haven’t and you are a coffee drinker you should try it one time. Headaches and night sweats are the best part of it. Plus, go down to your local café and try to order a decaf coffee without having the barista look at you like you are nuts. Good times.

Oh well, I guess it could be worse… Couldn’t it?!?
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So, I just took two photos of Earl in action. Hopefully Jason will be good enough to post them (posted! Webmaster.). If he isn’t then just email him and ask him to send that along to you. It’ll help you get the joke.

Before I go, I think that I should mention that baseball is coming back. I know I proclaimed early in my ranting that the football season and the start of that is my Giftmas. Well, baseball season in a summer of heaven on earth. I even get to go home in August to see my little bro’s wedding (The Grub’s* getting’ married!!!) and Popcorn (my pops) and I have already planned to get up to Milwaukee to see the ol’ Brew Crew play a game. I think the Reds are in town, but it matters not, as it IS baseball. Also, due to the goodness of some CA friends, I get to see the BoSox play a set out here in CA. That’s a perk and something to make it worth getting up every morning.

It don’t get betta than baseball… trust me on that.

OK, enough of me. Time to eat and whatnot. This rant was brought to you by the letter Q, then number 19, and Daft Punk’s Discovery album.

* All names have been changes to protect other folks, not associated with my rants, to live a life of semi-normalcy. If the nicknames confuse of confound you, just take it as course of fact and don’t ask. Like you don’t do strange things yourself.

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